Adventures of the Third Lost Expedition, Part XI: The road ahead

July 26, 1985

Adventures of the Third Lost Expedition, Part XI: 

The road ahead.

CAPTAIN’S LOG, BAR DATE XXXIII: As the Third Lost Expedition prepared to pay a fond farewell to Niagara Falls Boulevard in the Mei Yuan Restaurant, 1060 Falls Blvd., with a hearty Chinese meal and many hearty Chinese Tsingtao beers, the Captain decided the time was ripe to put a little perspective on their mission to have a drink in every licensed establishment on fabled federal Route 62 from Niagara Falls to El Paso, Texas. Or as close to El Paso as they could get.

        To illustrate his point, the Captain produced copies of the Route 62 Calendar and Map, published annually by the Route 62 Association in New York State, which lists such attractions as this week’s seventh annual Oil Heritage Week Festival in Oil City, Pa., and next weekend’s Eden Corn Festival. (For a copy, send a stamped, self-addressed envelope to Lost Expedition, c/o Gusto, Buffalo News, Box 100, Buffalo, NY 14240.)

        A glance at the map reminded the crew that they still had light years to go. After this night’s turn onto Sheridan Drive and the upcoming march down Bailey Avenue to South Park Avenue, there would be Lackawanna, Blasdell, Hamburg, Eden, North Collins, Gowanda, South Dayton, Ellington and Frewsburg.

        Only hinted at was what lay beyond the Pennsylvania border – Warren, Oil City and Sharon. Then would come Ohio, with Youngstown, Canton and Columbus along the route. In Kentucky, Route 62 parallels the Bluegrass and West Kentucky parkways all the way to Paducah, nipping across the junction of the Ohio and Mississippi rivers at Cairo, Ill. In Missouri, it joins Routes 60 and 61, then slips into Arkansas, passing through Fayetteville. Oklahoma steers it into Muskogee, Oklahoma City and Chickasha before it crosses into West Texas. After Lubbock, it veers past the Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico and returns to the Lone Star State for its grand finale.

        Ever mindful of what it takes to make an epic pub-crawl, the expeditioners packed away their chopsticks and transported onto the brief section of Sheridan Drive that’s part of Route 62. There are but five watering spots on this stretch and the troupe was confident that they’d make short work of them. Indeed, once their shuttlecrafts were docked at Northtown Plaza, everything was within walking distance.

        “Relax at the bar with Ruth,” advised a sign at the entrance to Mindy’s Wine Cellar, 3131 Sheridan Drive, in Northtown Plaza, and the crew was quick to obey. Commandeering a corner table with a view of the suburban sunset sky, they loosened up and welcomed the late-comers. Soon the group had swollen to 15.

        A few drifted over to a video game at the far corner of the big U-shaped bar, where the blips and bleeps punctuated the blarney of two lingering business types, who’d been there long enough to get into issues of cosmic truth. “I may be right,” one of them slurred. “I may be wrong.”

        A medieval wood-beam and stucco décor prevailed and a baseball game played on the barside TV. Advertised prominently were the 3:30 to 6:30 p.m. Attitude Adjustment Hours, with $1.25 drinks and hot and cold hors d’oeuvres, but it was too late for that.

        The Captain eschewed the choice of Old Vienna, Michelob and Miller Lite draft beer in favor of one of the bar specials – a $2.85 tulip glass full of pina colada, which was pronounced too sweet by everyone who tasted it. The dining patrons present at first soon vanished and were replaced by young singles. When they began to outnumber the expeditioners, it was time to go.

        A stroll around to the front of the plaza brought them to the next way-station, Syracuse’s Pizza Plant, 3093 Sheridan Drive. A cheerful little spot which aspired to be more like a restaurant than most pizzerias, it bid visitors to wait by the neon sign to be seated. The troupe, naturally, created its own seating arrangements.

        An exuberant menu touted not only the vast variety of the Pizza Plant’s pizza pods and stuffed pizzas, but also such offbeat offerings as Strawberry Coolers on tap for $3.85 a pitcher and a selection of 40 beers from around the world, the bottles from which were displayed in clusters along the wall. Some of the safari settled for cookies and milk. The Neon Knight opted for cookies and Kirin Beer.

        Then it was across the speedy six-lane asphalt, with a pause at the divider, to Alice’s Kitchen, a 24-hour family restaurant at 3122 Sheridan Drive which lately has added beer and wine to its menu. The big C-shaped table area, despite its ceiling fans and stained glass lamps, struck the Quartermaster as being less like a bar and more like “a Denny’s or a Perkins with booze.”

        Nevertheless, the safari summoned pitchers of beer, an order of chicken wings and at least one stack of pancakes from the inexpensive menu ($6.95 tops for New York Strip Steak) as they took a row of tables along an upholstered bench seat. The Native American Guide, meanwhile, explored the checkout counter, where he discovered soap-bubble-blowing kits for a mere 50 cents. Soon the table was bedeviled with bubbles.

        The bubbles accompanied the company across the parking lots to the Ground Round Restaurant at 3180 Sheridan Drive, which gave proof to advance reports that this chain was abandoning its folksy ambiance in favor of something a little more upscale.

        Gone were the antiques on the walls, replaced by oversized toys. The stage, where acoustic singers used to hold forth, was laden with potted plants. But there were still video games, a quartet of them right inside the door. And there were still the complimentary baskets of popcorn and peanuts to go with pitchers of dark draft Stroh’s, but the waitress supplied an empty basket for the peanut shells. “We don’t throw them on the floor any more,” she said.

        Final destination was Tom’s Family Restaurant, 3221 Sheridan Drive at Route 62’s turning point onto North Bailey. Doubts about whether this Greek place served strong beverages were soon satisfied by the display of beer and wine artifacts on the walls.

        Settling into a series of tables in the side dining room, the somewhat tipsy trekkers were charmed by the general niceness of the operation as they sampled the souvlaki and chose among Old Vienna, Miller’s and Genesee, all at $1.25. The shortest leg of their adventure had been no sweat. Stretching out ahead, however, was something that looked suspiciously like infinity.